Hands up if you are busy with a capital B?! I know I’m not the only one who’s got tiny tasks coming out their ears and what feels like a to-do list that literally never ends.
I’ve noticed over the last few days that not only am I chronically busy, but I also seem to put all of my own needs last, and not just last as in “I eventually got around to it”, but last like wayyyy down the ever-growing list. Let’s be honest, it’s pretty much never getting done.
And when I say “needs”, I don’t mean nice things like: taking a luxurious bubble bath or getting my nails did. It’s more like: replying to emails, writing, building my business, feeding myself and even going to the loo as soon as I need it.
Yep, self-care has truly taken a back seat.
And finally, now that this once-in-three-decades supermoon is here, all this shit is being brought to the surface and I’m finally realising how much it’s costing me to not put my own needs first.
I’m pretty sure this is due to the conjunction of the minor planet, Ceres, with this full moon.
Wtf is Ceres?
Dwarf planet, Ceres, is named after the Roman grain goddess, and represents all things nurturing, like female power, food and fulfilling physical needs – sounds familiar already, right?
And it’s not just me who’s waking up to their crazy lack of self-care. A few of my close lady friends have been telling me recently that they’re completely frazzled, overworked, undernourished and utterly done with it.
Even the people that I can always trust to be willing workaholics (you know who you are), are talking about early nights and lie ins and saying no.
We’re sending each other gushy lists of ’50 Ways to Practice Self-Care’, articles entitled ‘Why We Put Ourselves Last’ and inspirational quotes of pensive-looking people staring off into the distance, and all without a sarcastic tone in sight.
We’re deadly serious.
We’re fed up of always being in need, and we’re ready to reclaim our sovereignty.
Wtf is sovereignty?
Most of the time we hear sovereignty in regards to countries reclaiming it (I’m looking at you Brexit Britain!) – so how does it relate to us personally?
Well, basically it’s everything that makes you a unique, independent individual. It’s what gives you power over yourself and allows you to reign over your life with autonomy.
When you don’t meet your own needs, you’re giving all that away. You’re basically saying that you’re not worthy of worship, not even worthy of going to the toilet when you need it (I know, I know, it’s terrible).
Reclaiming your sovereignty doesn’t have to mean treating yourself like a queen, and it doesn’t have to mean you don’t get all the stuff on your big long list done.
What it does mean, is that you move some of those personal needs to the front of the list. You take a break when you need it, even if it means the laundry doesn’t get done or that project for work is set back a day or two.
Why is it ok for you to go without?
Why is it ok for you to put everything that’s important to you on the back burner indefinitely, when everyone else has their needs met and everything else gets done with a cherry on top? Why?
I’ll tell you why, it’s because we don’t value ourselves enough.
I won’t get into a feminist rant here, but this is something that more women suffer from than men.
To generalise a little, most of us ladies are born givers – we watch our mums until we’re old enough to help, then we become a mini version of her. We’re subconsciously taught that unless we’re busy doing or caring, we’re not worthy.
I don’t know if your mum is anything like mine, but just being a woman in the 21st century means you have ten million things on your plate with work AND family, without even adding extras like a side-hustle, hobbies or friends (we shot ourselves in the foot there, ladies).
I’ve grown up watching my mum be chronically busy, and just assumed that was the way things were.
But Ceres and the full moon are calling out to me to put things right.
Reclaiming our self-care sovereignty
I didn’t really have time to write this article, but I made it a priority. I put it at the front(ish) of my list, ahead of cook, book train tickets and pay my taxes. Cos guess what? Those things will definitely get done. They have to. If they don’t, no one will eat, I won’t get an advance train ticket and will have to pay big bucks (welcome to England where getting the train is like taking out a mortgage) and I’ll get a fine on my late tax return.
So, if you look at it this way – all those little tasks HAVE to get done, they have a deadline, but my articles and eating and resting, well… not so much, and that’s why they always get pushed back.
We’ve got to stop this, ladies (and gentlemen if this resonates with you too!).
You are worthy of a break or a meal or a chance to work on what you want to work on.
You are worthy of letting other things slip in order to take care of yourself, heck, look around, so many people slack ALL THE TIME and get away with it, why the hell shouldn’t you?
It doesn’t make you a cop out or a failure, it just means you’re human with human needs.
This whole BE SUPERWOMAN DO ALL THE THINGS thing is seriously damaging and makes my trapped nerve play up.
So, please join me in focussing on self-care, reclaiming our sovereignty and saying no to a bunch of stuff.
Say it with me now:
– NO I cannot help you with your project.
– NO I have not cleaned the bathroom.
– NOOOOO I cannot do that or that or THAT OR THAT OR THAT.
– Yesssss to making sure I am clean and healthy and happy. Only that. Yesyesyes.
Happy full moon lovelies, now let’s go burn our to-do lists and dance naked in the moonlight, cos that can be a priority if you want it to be.
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