I’ve always had this attitude towards wealth like it will come and go as it pleases, sometimes I have it, sometimes I don’t, and because of this attitude, the money has behaved the same.
Except that’s not really how I want my money to flow: unevenly in a feast or famine cycle that has me constantly working to survive. It’s exhausting.
When you’re trapped in the ‘have or have-not’ cycle of wealth, you’re never relaxed, never grateful, because every time you receive some abundance that you should be thankful for, you’re distracted, planning where the next lot will come from.
You never sit back and think “well done gurl, you smashed those finance goals, go out and treat yourself” because you’re scared that the money you use to feast this time should be stashed away ready for the next famine to come around.
When you’re stuck in feast or famine, you’re never getting to practice gratitude, which allows you to bring in more of the same.
Gratitude = more of the same
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am always grateful for what I do have. For seven years, I lived in Brighton, the homelessness capital of the UK, and over the years I lived there, I watched the homeless population grow to dizzying numbers.
When I first lived there, I would always try and give each homeless person a pound when I walked past, but the problem grew so huge that I could easily lose a tenner walking five minutes down from the station.
I went back there recently, and the problem is even worse, yet almost nobody who can do anything, does. It angers and pains me on a deep level, but also gives me something to contrast my own struggles with.
That’s always been my gratitude practice: That I’m not homeless, and if I was ever to become homeless, I am lucky enough to have some people I could turn to who would put me up. Not everyone has that.
But this mindset doesn’t appear to help me in the long run, except to remind me that I’m not near the bottom yet.
My gratitude practice allows me more of the same: more of not being homeless, which is great, but it’s still not exactly the abundant place I’d like to be.
Where are you aiming for?
So, if my base level, my rock bottom, is homelessness. What is my top limit? Do I even have one?
And if I don’t have one, am I just focussing on avoiding the rock bottom rather than reaching the highest heights?
Maybe that’s why I’m always and forever skirting around being skint, because I don’t have my eyes on the prize. Rather, I have my eyes on the thing I am trying hardest to avoid.
You know like when you drive a car at night. If you watch the passing headlights on the other side for too long, you’ll veer off into oncoming traffic.
Your money mindset is a lot like that.
Focus on your desired destination and you’ll get there. Focus on just avoiding danger and you’ll run right into it.
Healers need money too
Now I’m not suggesting that we all buy into the illusion of the American Dream and go sell our souls on Wall Street, but us sensitive magical folk have needs too.
We don’t want to be constantly cycling between have and have-not, living from pay check to pay check and focussing all our energy on survival.
We want abundance too, even if we try to ignore it.
We want to be able to treat ourselves well and help our friends and families to thrive, and when you really think about it, it’s the healers of this world who, if given the abundance that so many privileged folks enjoy, are most likely to then return the favour and help those in need.
I always said that if I won the lottery or became stinking rich in some way, I would buy a big building in my old hometown of Brighton, furnish and staff it as a place for homeless people to go and heal.
Somewhere they could get a bed and a hot meal and medicine, but not just that, company and counselling too. No more begging for the change to get into a sad and lonely night shelter. No more putting a band aid over the symptom rather than solving the cure.
But all this requires a great deal of money that I have essentially told myself will never be mine to give unless something as rare and life-changing as winning the lottery happened.
Deep down, I don’t believe I can make that kind of money myself.
I’m basically setting the levels of my own wealth before I even try.
Negative money mindset
There’s been a few articles going about recently on how the lightworkers and women, healers and heart-centred business folk of this world need to up their financial game and “charge what they’re worth”, and I whole-heartedly second this, if only so that we can then help those who can’t help themselves.
But it’s not quite as easy as simply hiking up your prices and carrying on, hoping for the best. This money mindset runs deep, and we need to identify where our own limits are.
If your rock bottom is a terrifying, cold and hungry place, then your highest high should be a thrilling, abundant and liberating place – and you should be focussing on that top, not the bottom.
This ties in a lot with the problem many of us sensitive folk from average to low income backgrounds seem to have, that we actually secretly (or not so secretly) HATE money.
We hate checking our bank balance, hate paying bills, hate seeing people splurge money when we can’t and knowing that some people have excessive amounts of cash, yet do nothing to help those who don’t.
I’d go as far to say that a lot of us hate having money, as much as we hate NOT having money.
We fear the idea of being homeless, the same as we fear the idea of being rich.
Changing your money mindset
So, what do we do?
We work to change our money mindset, that’s what.
We must identify our own blocks to abundance. Dig up the attitudes to money that our parents and peers instilled in us. We need to name the fear that keeps us from being poor, but also name the fear that keeps us from being rich.
Money is neither good nor bad, it’s what you do with it that counts.
If you’re currently struggling financially, maybe it might help to lift some of the negativity surrounding your finances.
Set a goal, one that’s so high it makes you feel slightly embarrassed, then stop feeling embarrassed about it. There’s no shame in making enough. No shame in wanting something different to what you’re used to.
Everyone has a right to abundance, everyone should feel safe and secure, no one should be driven by a fear of homelessness. No one should BE homeless.
So, if you’re worried that wanting more money makes you a bad person, just imagine all the wonderful things you could do with it, then when you eventually hit the jackpot, make sure that you actually do them.
How do I feel when I pay my bills? Why?
What was my family’s attitude towards money? How has this shaped me?
What would abundance look like for me?
What attitudes would need to change for me to reach this abundance?
Money mindset is something so many of us struggle with and I want to help you bust those blocks.
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